Systemic Family Therapy

Systemic family therapy helps individuals, couples and families understand existing relationship patterns and explore more helpful ways forward. The focus is on understanding what has brought you here, what is maintaining the difficulties and what may need to change.

I work with families, couples and individuals. My approach considers each person within the relationships, circumstances and personal history that shape their experience. Many difficulties become easier to understand and solve when we look at the wider relational system around them.

I welcome international and multilingual families living in Estonia or abroad. In these families, difficulties may be shaped by personal histories, language, culture, relocation, belonging and distance from familiar support networks.

Taavi Jakobson doing family therapy in his consulting room

At a glance

  • Who it is for: individuals, couples and families
  • Languages: English and Estonian; Finnish can be used as a supporting language when helpful
  • Location: online, or at Koidu 18 in Tallinn, Estonia
  • Fee: EUR 90 per hour for couples and family therapy or counselling
  • Format: sessions may take place individually, as a couple or with the whole family

Family therapy may be helpful when you are dealing with:

  • tension or conflict in a relationship, communication difficulties or emotional distance
  • family transitions, such as the birth of a child, children leaving home or separation
  • stepfamily or blended-family dynamics, including questions of roles and boundaries
  • behavioural or adjustment difficulties involving children
  • recurring relationship patterns or a sense of inner confusion
  • difficulties in relationships between adults and their parents

Therapy offers a safe and confidential space in which complex and sensitive topics can be explored with care. The aim is greater clarity, better connection and meaningful changes in everyday life.

Sessions may involve the whole family, a couple or one or more family members. Sometimes it is useful to involve other people as well — for example in stepfamilies, with adult siblings, or when relationships between adults and their parents continue to affect family life.

Family therapy does not mean that anyone is “broken”. It is an opportunity to pause, understand what is happening and engage with your life and relationships more consciously.

Therapists do not provide ready-made answers, and there are no universal solutions to complex human situations. Every individual, couple and family is different, as are the challenges they face. As a systemic therapist, I believe that people and families often already have important resources for navigating difficulties. Therapy can help bring those resources into awareness and make them easier to use.

In my practice I have often seen that the relationship problems in a family impact one’s work life and the other way around. This is the reason I have created a reflective space for leaders and entrepreneurs to view those two aspects of life together systematically.

Change often begins when we decide to pause and look honestly at our relationships. If you would like to begin family therapy, couples therapy or individual counselling, please get in touch to arrange an initial session. The direction and pace of the process are shaped by your needs, goals and readiness.

You do not need to arrive with the “right” problem neatly formulated. It is enough to describe briefly what feels difficult at the moment and who may need to be involved.

Practical information

In-person sessions in Tallinn take place at Koidu 18.

I also work online. However, communication is often richer when we share the same physical space, so I generally recommend that couples and families attend at least the first session in person whenever possible.

Family therapy consulting room at Koidu 18 in Tallinn

My fee for couples and family therapy or counselling is EUR 90 per hour. Payment can be made by bank transfer against an invoice or in cash at the practice.

Sessions are available in both English and Estonian. I can also use Finnish as a supporting language when helpful.

Confidentiality and professional ethics

What is discussed in therapy is treated as confidential. Without prior agreement, I do not disclose information discussed in therapy or confirm anyone’s participation to third parties. Likewise, information shared in a separate session or in writing is not passed on to other family members without explicit agreement.

If we happen to meet outside the therapeutic setting, I will not acknowledge our professional relationship in order to protect your confidentiality. You are, of course, free to acknowledge me or to speak about your own experience of therapy as you wish.

As part of standard professional practice, aspects of therapeutic work may be discussed in supervision. These discussions are conducted anonymously, with identifying details removed or altered. The same duty of confidentiality applies within supervision. Supervision is an essential part of professional therapeutic practice and helps me provide the best possible service to clients.

Further details on confidentiality and professional ethics are set out in the codes of ethics of the Estonian Association for Family Therapy (EPTÜ) and the European Family Therapy Association (EFTA), which I follow as a member of EPTÜ.

Frequently asked questions

The duration of therapy depends on what brings you to therapy and on your goals. Every individual, couple and family is different, and so is the pace of change. Therapy involves working with emotions, meanings, relationships and recurring patterns, and these do not always follow a predictable timetable.

In some situations, a few sessions may be enough to create greater clarity. In others, family or couples therapy may become a longer process, particularly when the aim is deeper and more lasting change. You are always free to end therapy when you feel it is right to do so.

For couples and family therapy, the first session may last up to two hours. Follow-up sessions typically last 90–120 minutes. Individual sessions may be shorter.

If the conversation reaches a natural stopping point earlier, we can of course finish sooner by agreement.

The frequency of sessions depends on the nature and intensity of the issues involved. When starting with new clients, I generally recommend meeting once a week or once every two weeks. Longer gaps are often less effective because continuity can be lost and more time may be needed to revisit earlier work.

In longer-term therapy, sessions may become less frequent, with greater emphasis on reflection and change between meetings.

My fee for couples and family therapy or counselling is EUR 90 per hour. The total fee is based on the duration of the session.

Not necessarily. Sessions may involve the whole family, a couple or just one family member. Even when only one person attends, changes in that person’s responses can affect the wider relational system.

However, change is often more visible and more sustainable when important relationships are represented in the therapy room. We agree together who should attend subsequent sessions, according to what is most useful for the process.

Yes, often. Stepfamilies and blended families are a common part of family life today. They can become a source of support for everyone involved, but their beginnings are also connected with loss — whether through separation or bereavement — which can make the transition more complex.

Usually the difficulty is not that someone is deliberately doing something wrong. More often, emotions have not yet been fully worked through, the family system itself is complex, and the situation needs to be carefully understood and untangled.

Therapeutic work is often most helpful when difficulties are addressed early. Family therapy can be useful both in a crisis and before problems have escalated. It can help you understand recurring conflicts, communication patterns and difficulties in relationships, and create more room for change.

Is family therapy evidence-based?

Yes. Although systemic family therapy is a relatively recent approach to psychotherapy compared with many forms of individual therapy, decades of clinical research and meta-analyses have demonstrated the effectiveness of various systemic interventions. In Germany, for example, systemic psychotherapy has been recognised as a treatment covered by statutory health insurance for adults since 2020, and for children and adolescents since 2024.

Research has shown that family therapy and other systemic interventions can be effective in addressing a range of difficulties, including relationship problems, emotional and behavioural difficulties in children and adolescents, eating disorders, depression, and substance use problems.

What distinguishes systemic family therapy is its focus not only on an individual’s difficulties, but also on their relationships and the ways people influence one another. The value of this approach lies both in reducing individual symptoms and in creating change in the relationships and environment in which those symptoms arise and persist. This helps positive changes to last.

Selected recent research reviews:

Family therapy does not offer quick, one-size-fits-all solutions or ready-made answers. Simple answers and reassurance are often easier to find in books, workshops, or from AI. Therapy requires a willingness to pause, listen to different perspectives, and honestly reflect on our own role in relationships.

If the goal is to find someone to blame or to seek confirmation that only the other person needs to change, the therapeutic process may prove difficult. Therapy is a collaborative process that requires openness and a willingness to change.

If there is an immediate threat to someone’s life or health, emergency help should be sought. In such situations, family therapy can play a supportive role by helping loved ones understand what is happening, support one another, and develop relationships that encourage recovery. In many cases, it can also help reduce the risk of future crises. Where appropriate, this work can take place in collaboration with other professionals.

In cases of domestic abuse, threats, or coercive and controlling behaviour, the first priority must be the safety of the person experiencing abuse and other family members. Joint therapy sessions may not be safe while abuse or coercive control is ongoing.

In cases of severe or rapidly worsening depression, suicidal thoughts, or other serious mental health symptoms, it is important to seek prompt medical assessment and, where necessary, psychiatric treatment. The same applies to conditions such as psychosis, manic episodes, severe eating disorders, or dangerous substance use and withdrawal.

Where to seek help in Estonia

  • 112 – Emergency services. If your life or health, or that of someone else, is in immediate danger.
  • 116 006 – Victim Support Crisis Helpline. Available 24/7 for people affected by violence, abuse, or traumatic events. Online chat support is also available at palunabi.ee.
  • 116 111 – Child Helpline. Free, 24/7 support for concerns involving children, including abuse or a child in need of help. Online chat: lasteabi.ee.
  • 116 123 – Emotional Support Helpline. Free support every day from 10 a.m. to midnight.
  • 1220 – Family Doctor Advice Line. Medical advice available 24/7, including help assessing how urgently medical attention may be needed.

For serious mental health symptoms, you can also contact a psychiatrist or go to a hospital emergency department.

Yes. What is discussed in therapy is treated as confidential in accordance with professional ethical standards. More detail is provided in the section “Confidentiality and Professional Ethics” above.

All emotions are welcome in therapy. No feeling – both inside and outside the therapy room – makes you a bad person. Emotions can provide valuable information about experience, needs and boundaries, and therapy is often more useful when feelings can be expressed openly.

If you feel frustrated, angry or disappointed with me or with the process, it is worth saying so. Bringing these reactions into the conversation can become an important part of the therapeutic work.